Tuesday, June 25, 2013


Oh vaguebookers, I just don't know what about you guys anymore.  I'm not sure which is more infuriating; the ones who respond to everyone's concern with "OMG Chill out everyone" as if they can't understand why what they wrote would worry anyone or the ones who NEVER respond to let you know.

So what is vaguebooking?  According to urban dictionaryIntentional or unintentional vague or ambiguous facebook status message, which people have no clue as to what the heck you are talking about.  But isn't that what the Internet is for?  Disagree.  That's what a diary or post for personal view only is for. Write an angry letter and don't really mail it is for that.  On a social network, you're demonstrating your communication abilities with others.  Unless you don't mind drama and disputes, then be as vague as you want so you can post more vague status updates probably about communication issues that are probably your fault.
I won't lie, I posted a vague status before.  I also promptly deleted it after regaining my sanity.  I actually started speaking to some people about the things that were bothering me instead of vaguely throwing words into the world and hoping the right people saw it to make changes.  Also, some people are never going to change even after you approach them with your issue. Then that leaves you to decide to drop them from your life or keep them and accept them as they are.  
Some people I have dropped from my life.  Not simply because they vaguebooked of course.  Except one gal.  She was the kind that everything was doom and gloom.  She fished for those comments of people telling her "you just don't know how beautiful you truly are."  I was never really her friend just an acquaintance but when she dragged her fishing line into the sunshine of one of my best friend's status, well that was an open declaration of war in my book. 

So let's move on from my own Facebook transgressions to a quick rundown of the different types of vague status updates.  We have six types of vague status updates; no follow up, feed my need, the boy who cried wolf, the incomplete announcement, the raven, and the joker.  
The No Follow Up
The no follow up is the person who never responds to comments made on the status, messages in concern, or even refuses to answer the phone. Sometimes the status isn't even vague, sometimes their status updates are requests for things, like a ride for example.  You never know if they got someone to watch their cats when they went out of town.  You never know if you should bring over your lawn mower that you had offered.  Even mutual friends and the poster's family members don't know what happened.  Eventually, you stop offering assistance.
Feed My Need
Some people utilize vague status updates for attention.  Their status updates are mostly putting themselves down.  "Why do I even try anymore?" for example.  Unlike the last vaguebookers, these people do respond to pleasurable comments.  Any comments that this poster does not view as favorable are either met with attacks from her enablers or deleted.  Closely resembling this Facebook user are the selfies who post not one but two or more pictures of themself taken by themself in a single day.  Both users just want people to feed them with positive comments about them.
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
The boy-who-cried-wolf updater updates their profile frequently with vague status updates.  What makes them unique is how they always respond to the chorus of concern with "why is everyone asking what's wrong?"  They are difficult to tell if they are seeking attention or seriously don't understand why what they've said would lead anyone to be concerned. Eventually people stop being concerned at all with that person's updates, even the updates that are actually true.  
The Incomplete Announcement
The incomplete announcement takes various forms.  It could be good news, bad news, or nothing at all.  Chances are, you'll never know.  This person does respond to comments, calls, or messages with the response of "I don't want to talk about it" or "I'll tell you after I talk to so-and-so first."  The second response is just a dodgy version of the first.  This kind of material is better suited for either a private conversation or a diary entry.
The Raven
Then there is the raven.  The raven is easy to spot in how they are repeating the words of someone else.  Not to be confused with the parrot, who posts lyrics and quotes simply because they find them uplifting and enjoyable.  The raven uses lyrics or quotes to passive aggressively attack an unidentified recipient.  Even words that could be uplifting sound bleak and dreary coming from The Raven.
The Joker
Finally, we have the joker.  The joker just wants to watch the world burn.  They make aggressive posts half poking into touchy subjects.  After that, they simply sit back and watch the chaos take over.  Sometimes, the joker posts backfire making the joker hear something that completely renders their initial post invalid.  This results in a complete deletion of the status entirely.  

In short, vaguebooking is not a healthy practice.  If you can't appropriately communicate with others using the Internet, when you have all of the time you please to look at and review what you say, how can you be expected to handle real world communication?

If I missed any, that probably means I have not spotted them on my Facebook. 
Also check out this awesome article for a well-written letter to vaguebookers.


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